This PSA is brought to you by the CDC, the Center for Douchebag Control.
|Herpes: An STD that never goes away.|
I know, I know. There’s enough Palin vitriol to go around in just about any news rag that allows for op-ed pieces, so why should I pile it on? Well, I’m going to do so mostly because the people at the Washington Post do not have the liberty to refer to her as an STD. Oh, and I plan to say "fuck" a few times, which they are also not allowed to say.
Anyway, Sarah Palin is like a case of herpes: extremely annoying and never goes away. It’s not being a Conservative that makes her annoying, it’s the fact that she is promoting radical conservatism through channels and means that are meant to target the biggest political tards in the country. Every time some big national whatthefuckever happens, Sarah Palin jumps on twitter and starts shitting. And she usually spits out strings of reactionary vomit mixed in with made-up words that are meant to inflame some sense of righteous indignation in her arch-conservative base.
Sarah Palin: An STD that never
Palin might refudiate these infercations, but there’s no secret to her success. Her popularity is based on her being edgy, and she knows that all she has to do is tap into the fears and frustrations of the average American moron who barely passed American Government in high school. I mean, could you imagine her tweeting about Locke’s Natural Rights theory? Or how about the Hobbesian Problem; or what Machiavelli’s Il Principe was actually trying to say?
Unless the constituents of the Tea Party actually become smarter and better read over night, then Sarah Palin will never go away. Because she is hot, I like to think that she is smarter than people perceive her; that the whole "oh I’m just a simple moose-hunter mama bear from
who happens to have a great rack," bit is just a calculated façade. Alaska
"But Jack, aren’t you just like Palin? Aren’t you saying really edgy and off-the-wall things to grab the attention of your audience?" Good question, hypothetical nay-sayer. I do say things like fuck, shit, and whore, all to be edgy so that I get your attention. But the difference is that I'm only edgy to grab your attention. I actually try to convey a message that's a little deeper than "*angry face* evil big government!" Palin requires that you be a dumbass, I simply require that you just give a shit.