Sunday, April 3, 2011

80% of Americans are Functionally Retarded

That's just a guess.  I don't have any hard statistical evidence to back that up.  Normally I try to post something about religion on a Sunday, but I spit up a rant on a liberal forum that I've been frequenting last night.  I made the same bold claim that most Americans are morons, and one guy said to me "believing that Americans are stupid is Republican . . . 70% of Americans are intelligent progressives."

Retarded.
I was immediately incensed, and here's the rant I produced.  It's a lot of text, but it's Sunday and you have extra time to read, right?  This one is a little less foul in its language, but I had to clean it up for that audience.  If you're interested in the entire conversation, or the forum in general, you can find it here.

I mean look at American education, American culture. Most Americans probably couldn't even tell you the decade the Civil War took place. Most Americans probably can't even tell the difference between the preamble to the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. Most Americans probably can't even tell you the first three words of the Constitution. According to this study done in 2010, only 28% of Americans polled said they had actually read the entirety of the Constitution. 14% said they had read "most" of it.

Before engaging in ANY sort of debate about American government, an intelligent person would have read the document that lays out its framework at least once in its entirety, and I'm guessing that the 28% are not the only ones debating about issues in government.

People murder each other every day, some of them do it just for fun. Priests molest little boys. Politicians lie out their asses all the time. Some countries still stone women if they are accused of adultery. The French are trying to outlaw wearing religious garb in public. Hitler liquidated 6 million Jews. Stalin liquidated 11 million of his own people. You're not allowed to practice Christianity in Dubai. The Chinese government only allows families to have one child. At any given moment someone, somewhere is being shot, stabbed, poisoned, beaten, molested, raped, tortured, sold into slavery, or all of the above.

Retarded.  And ugly.
And yet you STILL have faith in humanity? You still think that believing that humans are stupid is just a Republican thing? Obama supposedly betrayed you and the entire Democrat party, and you think he was just an exception? News flash: any one of those men or women would betray you and the electorate in a heart beat if they thought it was in the best interest of the country. The only difference between any other Dem in DC and Obama is that they don't have to make the decisions that he has to. Every damn Democrat in DC probably HAS betrayed you at some point, and yet you still cling to the hope that they're the last bastions of decency in the country?

That's why I can't ever vote Democrat. When I was in high school I was hard core liberal. I thought that humans were basically good and that there was hope for mankind if we'd all just try to get along. But then I went to the Navy and did the whole military intelligence thing. Unless you all have seen it, none of you know just how shitty this world really is. You only hear about 10% of the stuff that goes on out there.

I can't vote Democrat because that would require me to go back to pretending that everything will eventually be okay. After seeing the other side of the world, I can assure you that nothing will ever be okay. As long as there are free-thinking humans on this planet, everything will be fairly shitty, and all we can do is try to make things a little less shitty. If you want to know how to achieve a world where there's no war and everyone is happy, then go read "Brave New World."

I'm sure you've already read it, but that's the only way that the world will be okay. And you know what? If that's what it takes then I don't want it. I'd rather live in a flawed, horrifying world where I'm free to be whoever I want to be than one where I have no choice but to believe the bullshit that someone shovels me.

70% of Americans are intelligent progressives . . .

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think all you are trying to state is, given the choice, most people would rather be stupid?

i think this links into your rant about education and making learning fun, simply because you could pwn people on an intelectual level.

on a final note, you seem to site a lack of knowlege of american history or how government works with stupidity. I ask you this, how does it affect me? if it affected me in a way that i cared about, i would get in there.

Have i read the documents you have listed above? Yep, back in highschool. i did reports on them, whatever. did i think it was a good thing to have? yes. but i havent had to site them or use them on any sort of regular basis since then.

To make a comparason, i can do great things with pc, but 70% of americans are probably functionaly retarded. I can create virtual sever environments. i know some basics of linux. i can configure a firewall....
most people just want to check their email and check on farmville. and thats ok, thats all that PC's have to do with their lives. i do HOPE that they have other focuses (art, reading, cooking, etc), but if not.... well that is sad.

~Smitty

Anonymous said...

edit:

i guess one difference would be that politics are constantly publicised and given faces, oppinions and whatnot. it becomes a popularity contest. im guessing that this is what is spuring your rant. I will leave you to consider the consiquences of if they were more or less so.

~Smitty.

Jack Camwell said...

I'm not citing a lack of knowledge of American history, I was merely pointing out that the claim that 80% Americans are fucntionally retarded is more for literary effect, rather than to be taken literally.

My point is that most Americans are either severely uninformed or are just plain dumb. And it's frustrating that so many of them say that something is "Unconstitutional," without having even read the Constitution.

Only a fool would make a claim in a public forum about a document that he or she has never read. And what's more, most people probably couldn't understand the documents even if they did read them. The Constitution can be incredibly vague in a lot of places, and it takes a vast knowledge of American history to interpret it properly.

Also, you know you're dealing with real winners when they pick and choose which parts of the Constitution they want to loosely interpret or interpret literally.

Anonymous said...

is citing a document (bluffing) a stricly American trait? I don't think so.

idiots are like weeds, they grow everywhere.

Jack Camwell said...

Very true. I'm not saying that Americans are exclusively retarded, but that was just the focus of this article.

I generally try to make informed statements, and if I were to call other groups of people on being idiots then I'd have to research their political climate. I don't have the time or inclination to do that much research.

Anonymous said...

LOL

point taken!

Harrison said...

I don't know if that photo is real but, if it is... damn is that STUPID.

Jack Camwell said...

Haha, yeah I guess I sort of just took it for granted that it wasn't photo shopped.

KP said...

Sharp article. Correct me if I am wrong; you are not an ideologue. Conservative? Yes. Open minded? Yes. If I am correct, you make up the majority of the electorate.

KP said...

I read the rant from the link provided. Exceptionally well done, mate.

Jack Camwell said...

Thanks for the support, friend =)

I do a dangerous dance in terms of my political bent. I'm definitely not an ideologue because, as you gathered, I'm very open minded.

I'm fiscally conservative but socially liberal.

ErnieG said...

The "stupid Americans" are using European standard electrical cords.

Jack Camwell said...

Thanks for visiting ErnieG. And yes, someone actually brought that to my attention about a week ago or so.

Most Americans are still idiots, though.

J.W. Nicklaus said...

This was an enormously gratifying rant. With all due respect, it was not unlike the near rapture after taking a hefty dump ;^)

Very well done, sir!

Jack Camwell said...

Well thank you J.W.. I certainly appreciate your visiting and commenting.

Stop by again =)

Alice said...

Well, nice article. However, in their defense (LOL) I must say the Americans are a young nation... they don't know much because of it. They don't have experience; look what they did with THE BOMB! Look how they're starting wars everywhere and how they bully other (much smaller) countries! Look how they lie to each other and how they believe every lie
(must be a moron to watch Fox news, btw).
Give them time to grow... maybe another 500 years.

Jack Camwell said...

Thanks for stopping by Alice, and for the comment. Although I think the notion that we're a young nation didn't have much impact on the Founding Generation, I think it does have a big impact on America today.

Many Americans don't have much of a mind for history, and it's possible to think that perhaps history stops for them at 1776.

We do have to remember, though, that the Founders were very worldly, well-educated men. It's true that American culture and the American mind are relatively new on the scene of history, but those things are steeped in much of human history.

Anonymous said...

Huh, americans > im not suprised > ''they act before they think'' ops am i right?

Wade said...

That photo uses European equipment.

If anything, no less, it's Europeans that are somewhat lacking...

Hell, HUMANS are just THAT stupid.

Jack Camwell said...

Yes Wade, that has been brought to my attention before.

From the subtitle of my blog, I hope that people can evince that I understand that most of humanity is incredibly stupid.

Anonymous said...

To the writer, I hope for you that you will get also stupid, so you don’t have to keep yourself busy by stressing yourself out over all these problems, just be also stupid and go sit in the pool and have a beer, and enjoy yourself

Jack Camwell said...

Thank you for your concern, anon, but I really don't stress over it.

My good friends have strict instructions to mercifully end my life should I ever start to "get stupid," and become too stupid to realize it.

Ben said...

Americans are that stupid...
so stupid that they post picture of americans being "stupid" by playing a 'power strip' directly in water. Of course, the author is intelligent, right? I mean, not a whole lot of people knew that waterproof power-strips existed, did they? It's like a whole new definition of stupidity.

Jack Camwell said...

If you're only focusing on the picture, then perhaps it's not my intelligence that should be called into question.

It's a funny picture, that's all. If you're seriously irked about it then my guess is that you've got a chip on your shoulder.

Sorry friend, but whether or not I used that picture has no bearing on the fact that most Americans are, indeed, morons.

Get over it.

Anonymous said...

Lol Im American and I have to laugh at the absurdity of the first comment, it is the average American, the spelling and grammar -- it just seems like an idiot trying to talk intelligently speaking in a way he is not quite used to who in the process of writing decided to exclude himself from the herd but did not pull it off effectively. He said "Pwn" lmao! The avid online gamer. It is exactly why people think we're slow, stupid people who are not aware that they are in fact stupid but instead believes he is ahead of the curve so its okay to stay right where he is because he can configure a firewall. In other countries they learn English as an international language like its nothing while we can barely get a grip on it as our primary. I Googled "Americans are stupid" and found this after seeing comments on Youtube that actually made me shake my head in shame, granted some of them were from UK but the majority were American leading the pack saying the dumbest things imaginable behaving like 10 year olds tugging on their mom's dress dying for attention. Yes Timmy, good job... Ugh.. Yes, Im sorry to say we take the cake in the stupid department. Gold medal. Ha! America wins again! We're #1! We are dumb because we have every advantage far beyond most countries if not ALL of them but we are too spoiled and lazy to reap the benefits, we can't even see it. Don't want to. We only seek to indulge ourselves in pointless activities and we exude pride for having the privilege of being stupid and being able to get away with it lol! It doesn't get stupider than that, we read the blog and feel the need to defend ourselves (because we know) but have absolutely no interest in representing our country as brilliant thinkers. I admire Asian countries for how they do things in that regard, they don't mess around. Now they're here doing what they do quietly while we play CoD cursing at the LCD screen convinced that we're better than everybody. Im not Nostradamus but it isn't hard to see what this country will be like in the next 10~20 years. But hey, its ok, we can some great things with a pc...

Anonymous said...

That is a European power strip.

Anonymous said...

I am a thirteen year old american, and I unfortunatley halfway agree with this column. Yes, very few americans know a second language, most suck at history, and some are rednecks that would build a retarded contraption in an above-ground pool. Allow me to clarify though, that there really is that twenty percent of us that are rather brilliant. I like to think of myself as part of that twenty percent. The part that I don't completley agree with though, is that what really ruined our government is the idiot population. That's only a sliver of it. What really got us was, and is, the lazy people. Instead of a redneck photo, that should have been a picture of one of America's millions of obeses people. I'm republican, so I can't stand Obama, but I couldn't keep him from winning the election. See, all of these obese people and people with tons of kids they knew before they slipped and were impregnated with that they couldn't afford but didnt care they had to have their sex, and the just plain lazy people. Your article is wrong. People that voted for Obama don't regret it. They love him. He gave them exactly what they wanted, free stuff. You see, just as there is a small percentage of smart americans, there is a small percentage of americans willing to work. And you know what, that small percentage hates it. I'm still young, so it doesn't really effect me yet, but I'm afraid of the future economy I'll have to deal with myself. All the workers are tired of paying for everyone else's McDonalds and oops babies. It's not fair. So yes, most of america is as sorry as crap, and people should acknowledge it in hopes of making the lazy idiots feel bad and get off of their butts to work, but it's also important to remember that small, and decreasing percentage of good citizens. Besides, China may have us both beaten with the Einsteins, but we too make lots of inventions that
people all over Earth use everyday, just do your research. I may not be as smart as an english girl, but I have common sense and rarely get my american social
studies mixed up. What I'm trying to say is, some of us as very intelligent when you consider how hard America makes it to learn. Look at it this way, I've been trying hard to learn a different language since sixth grade (I know, that still is fairly late for places like England), but our language learning programs to do on our own time suck, my middle school didn't even acquire a Spanish teacher until I was in eigth grade, and even then it only had ten spots, and I, one of the smartest kids at my school couldn't get in, and know finally I'm signed up to take Spanish in ninth grade, but they may need to pull me out so all the tenth graders that still haven't taken it can get in. So please, speak badly about America, but never forget to mention the good part of ou population. If I have any typos please forgive me, I hate them but my ipad makes it hard to correct them.

Anonymous said...

The image at the bottom of your post is rather interesting. Notice that the plugs on the power strip are in fact an European standard plug.

Jack Camwell said...

"Notice that the plugs on the power strip are in fact an European standard plug."

I'm taking notice to the fact that you didn't take notice that 30 other people before you have pointed this very fact out to me in the comments.

Anonymous said...

Ah I agree Americans .... xD

Anonymous said...

It's because they are redneck hillbillies stuck in the past, that all own 1000 guns each and pay for hospital care, and call it freedom.

dmarks said...

"The image at the bottom of your post is rather interesting. Notice that the plugs on the power strip are in fact an European standard plug. "

This is interesting... someone is referring to a non-existent concept, and every else runs with it.

There's no such thing as a European standard plug, any more than there is a European standard fruit.

Has anyone here ever been to Europe? I've made a few trips, and have had to deal with 3 different plug standards over there. And that's the half of it: there are, from my count, 6 different plug standards in Europe.