Thursday, April 14, 2011

If God hated America, this would be why

Sorry, but Jesse Jackson still has to wait.  I promise that I will skewer him by Saturday.  And I don't really feel like talking about Obama's speech yesterday, as I'm sure my cohorts will give due coverage to that.  So without further ado . . .

I don’t think that God really hates America, that was just a jab at the Westboro Baptists.  And although I don’t think God hates idiots, I know they sure do piss me off to no end.  So for the sake of this being poignant, lets pretend that God does actually hate America and that the reason he hates America is because of the fools at the TSA.

We all remember hearing about the increased security measures that included more invasive pat-downs and scanners at air ports, and I know I was one of the people that was a bit bothered by it.  Now, me being a disgusting man, I wouldn’t be bothered if, say, Mila Kunis was doing the pat-down.  I know in my heart, though, that they would get the biggest, manliest dude possible to do it, and although there’s nothing wrong with being gay, I am definitely not down with dude-on-dude action for myself.

UGH!  Why can't she work for the TSA?!?!
So I was perturbed by this, as it seems a bit excessive, but a story I read today made me absolutely furious over it.  The TSA tards, in their infinite wisdom, felt it necessary to do a pat-down on a six year old girl.  Yes, Al-Qaeda has done the unthinkable and infiltrated the ranks of America’s first-graders.  They did a “modified,” pat-down, but the parents said that the girl cried afterwards because she felt like she had done something wrong.

Question: how stupid do you have to be to actually do this?  The pat-downs are random, so that means that some fuck-tard randomly saw a little girl and said “well, fair is fair.”  I get that it’s supposed to be random, but does that mean we have to abandon common sense just to prove that we’re not profiling?

Being a dad, I know that I would absolutely flip my fucking shit if some weirdo wearing a blue shirt with faux shoulder boards put his or her hands on my little girl.  I don’t give a god damn if it’s to uphold “national security,” because we were doing just fine before these new pat-down procedures.  How many bomb scares or terrorist attacks involving air planes happened in America between 9/11 and the time right before the TSA started doing this shit?

Only a loving God would provide me with pictures of
pedophile-looking TSA agents.
National Security is important.  It’s important that we take precautions to ensure the safety of anyone in this country, but does that mean we have to act like we’ve collectively been huffing gas fumes?

Apparently the TSA has a policy that prohibits children under 13 being subject to the pat-down, so what the fuck were they thinking there in Kentucky?  The Al Qaeda terrorists are some sick fucks, to be sure, but have they or would they ever use their own children in a terrorist attack on an air plane?

If I ever have to fly with my children somewhere, and they try to give them a pat-down, I will first calmly tell them to not touch my children, and if that doesn’t work I will then not-so-calmly tell them to take their fucking hands off my babies before they have to detain my ass for getting violent.

What would you do?


Harrison said...

That photo of the TSA agent looks more distrubing because not only is he wearing rubber gloves but it looks like the top of a pump bottle of lotion next to his left arm.

Jack Camwell said...

Hahaha. I didn't notice that. Good catch =)

LD Jackson said...

Of course, no one really knows what they would do when faced with certain circumstances, but it's not too hard to imagine. Our daughters are all grown up, but we do have a granddaughter and I can tell you how I would feel if she were subjected to such a procedure. It wouldn't be pleasant and detainment for me would be the likely result.

Jack Camwell said...

Yeah, especially if it was that guy in the picture above, haha.