So I was reading about how to promote a new blog the other day, and one little bullet point suggested that I should do a multipart post. Apparently, people like top (insert #) lists, so I figured I’d try my hand at one. Because I’m all about symmetry, and because I want to make my life easier for the next three days, I came up with a Top 15 list of douche bags, assholes, and shitty groups or insitutions.
So without further ado, here is 15-11.
15. World of Warcraft: Those who know me personally know that I played this game for a little bit. I think I played it for about 9 months or so. I stopped playing about a month ago because it just got boring and repetitive. I also have some serious philosophical issues with the game. WoW is a bleeding heart liberal’s wet dream. It’s a game that forces players to capitulate to the herd mentality, and the way it is structured ensures that everyone has an equal shot at being just as good as the next guy. The game is easy, and it’s made low-expectations the standard for MMOs. Blizzard hates the souls of men.
|Might as well be a pentagram|
14. Electronic Arts: I know, I’m a huge nerd because I love video games. But as I’ve said before, video games are awesome and important, and you can eat my ass for thinking otherwise. Anywho, Electronic Arts, or EA, ruins every fucking game they get their slimy little fingers on. They only care about making money, and they sacrifice the quality of their games for sales numbers. They are the biggest threat to quality games today, and they seriously need to die in a fucking fire. The bad thing is that kids these days wouldn’t know a good game if it kicked them in the taint, so EA will probably live on the souls of the young for a long, long time.
13. People who permanently live in America and have no intention of learning English: I know, some of you bleeding hearts will likely consider me to be a huge racist or intolerant, but if you do then that means you’re a moron. Am I seriously the only person that finds it frustrating when someone tries to conduct business but doesn’t know a lick of English? I am all about diversity, but holy fucking dog shit if you want to live and work in a foreign country, it is out of courtesy and respect for the country housing you that you should learn its dominant language. Learning English is not going to destroy anyone’s cultural identity. Many, many people in other countries speak more than one language as a general principle. So I’m sorry, if you want people to be less annoyed with you, then learn a little bit of English. Pro-tip: you might not be able to do that by watching only telemundo.
Oh I found plenty of pictures of Bill Donohue, but this one
is perfect, I think. It's one of my favorite episodes of
12. Bill Donohue: You fat fuck, you do not speak for Catholics. You speak for the Catholic League, a collection of nut jobs and morons that view Catholicism through the lens of a child. This is a guy who actually defended pedophile priests by saying that the boys they violated were “not boys, they were adolescents,” and that they didn’t rape them, they just touched them inappropriately. As a father of two, Bill, you can officially go fuck yourself.
I honestly have no idea who this is, nor do I care. This is
what came up when I image searched "birther." So
11. Birthers: Please, PLEASE STOP. For the love of Christ, all you fucks are doing is making the Republican party look like it’s filled with a bunch of fucking wackoes. You’re no better than Truthers (the weirdoes who think 9/11 was a U.S. government conspiracy), and your bullshit is just as baseless. Obama had his birth certificate certified by the governor of Hawaii. What the fuck more do you want? You know what the sad part is? Even if Obama released his official birth certificate, most of those shit heads likely wouldn’t believe it anyway. They’d cry “forgery,” and that “forgery,” would only perpetuate the conspiracy in their minds. Do you asshats enjoy giving Democrats something to laugh at?