Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Top 15 Persons, People, and things that need to GTFO, 15-11

So I was reading about how to promote a new blog the other day, and one little bullet point suggested that I should do a multipart post.  Apparently, people like top (insert #) lists, so I figured I’d try my hand at one.  Because I’m all about symmetry, and because I want to make my life easier for the next three days, I came up with a Top 15 list of douche bags, assholes, and shitty groups or insitutions.

So without further ado, here is 15-11.

Nancy Pelosi
15.  World of Warcraft:  Those who know me personally know that I played this game for a little bit.  I think I played it for about 9 months or so.  I stopped playing about a month ago because it just got boring and repetitive.  I also have some serious philosophical issues with the game.  WoW is a bleeding heart liberal’s wet dream.  It’s a game that forces players to capitulate to the herd mentality, and the way it is structured ensures that everyone has an equal shot at being just as good as the next guy.  The game is easy, and it’s made low-expectations the standard for MMOs.  Blizzard hates the souls of men.

Might as well be a pentagram
14.  Electronic Arts:  I know, I’m a huge nerd because I love video games.  But as I’ve said before, video games are awesome and important, and you can eat my ass for thinking otherwise.  Anywho, Electronic Arts, or EA, ruins every fucking game they get their slimy little fingers on.  They only care about making money, and they sacrifice the quality of their games for sales numbers.  They are the biggest threat to quality games today, and they seriously need to die in a fucking fire.  The bad thing is that kids these days wouldn’t know a good game if it kicked them in the taint, so EA will probably live on the souls of the young for a long, long time.

13.  People who permanently live in America and have no intention of learning English:  I know, some of you bleeding hearts will likely consider me to be a huge racist or intolerant, but if you do then that means you’re a moron.  Am I seriously the only person that finds it frustrating when someone tries to conduct business but doesn’t know a lick of English?  I am all about diversity, but holy fucking dog shit if you want to live and work in a foreign country, it is out of courtesy and respect for the country housing you that you should learn its dominant language.  Learning English is not going to destroy anyone’s cultural identity.  Many, many people in other countries speak more than one language as a general principle.  So I’m sorry, if you want people to be less annoyed with you, then learn a little bit of English.  Pro-tip: you might not be able to do that by watching only telemundo.

Oh I found plenty of pictures of Bill Donohue, but this one
is perfect, I think.  It's one of my favorite episodes of
South Park.
12.  Bill Donohue:  You fat fuck, you do not speak for Catholics.  You speak for the Catholic League, a collection of nut jobs and morons that view Catholicism through the lens of a child.  This is a guy who actually defended pedophile priests by saying that the boys they violated were “not boys, they were adolescents,” and that they didn’t rape them, they just touched them inappropriately.  As a father of two, Bill, you can officially go fuck yourself.

I honestly have no idea who this is, nor do I care.  This is
what came up when I image searched "birther."  So
whatevs.
11.  Birthers:  Please, PLEASE STOP.  For the love of Christ, all you fucks are doing is making the Republican party look like it’s filled with a bunch of fucking wackoes.  You’re no better than Truthers (the weirdoes who think 9/11 was a U.S. government conspiracy), and your bullshit is just as baseless.  Obama had his birth certificate certified by the governor of Hawaii.  What the fuck more do you want?  You know what the sad part is?  Even if Obama released his official birth certificate, most of those shit heads likely wouldn’t believe it anyway.  They’d cry “forgery,” and that “forgery,” would only perpetuate the conspiracy in their minds.  Do you asshats enjoy giving Democrats something to laugh at?

8 comments:

Silverfiddle said...

I'm not a gamer, so I can't identify with the first two, but the rest, Amen!

I've lived in various foreign countries during my military career, and learning and using the language (no matter how poorly) is just fundamental respect to your hosts.

And you're also right about Donohue, although I wouldn't state quite as you so eloquently have. He and other Catholics with big megaphones should have been directing their fire at a corrupt hierarchy that let this sinful rot go on for so long.

And the birthers, while I consider such investigations within the rights of whoever wants to engage in them, are the freakshow of politics. Their error lies in the fantasy that there will be an AHA! moment when Obama is exposed and frog marched from the white house in handcuffs.

Aint. Gonna. Happen.

People need to pull their heads out and focus on his disastrous policies. That is how you beat him in the broad middle where elections are decided.

Jack Camwell said...

Agreed on all accounts. I never had to live in foreign countries when I was in the Navy, but I visited a few. In all of them, with the exception of France because I know a little French, I felt bad because I didn't know at least a little bit of their languages.

Fortunately, most of the places we visited had plenty of people who spoke English really well, but I still felt bad anyway. I'm a language nut, though, and I always feel inadequate when I can't communicate with someone.

Harrison said...

My favorite game was Zyll. Yes, that long ago.

Jack Camwell said...

Haha, the earliest I can remember playing is Super Mario Bros. The first computer game I can remember playing is the first King's Quest, and I think it was on an old, OLD IBM, maybe an Apple.

KP said...

YOU ARE ON FIRE!

Looking forward to the rest of the list.

Jack Camwell said...

<3 you KP =D

Harrison said...

I had an Odyssey 2 and a PC Jr. I played Kings Quest on. A great game was Bard's Tale. I loved that game. Zyll was still the best... like Zork but only for the PC Jr.

Karen Howes said...

I especially agree with #s 12 and 13. People who don't learn to speak English are disrespectful and lazy, and Bill Donahue is embarrassing as hell.