Saturday, April 9, 2011

Trump 2012: Fuck my life


Well halle-fucking-luja, Congress averted a government shutdown.  That means I don't have to talk about it this morning, which is good, because I was running out of funny shit to say about it.  So instead of budget-talk, we're going to discuss something far more painful.

This picture oozes "I just butt fucked someone and he
doesn't even know it."

First of all, I am a Republican.  I try to be as non-partisan as possible, but for right now that’s who I vote for, so that’s the party I belong to.  In some recent discussions I’ve had with the various denizens of political forums, I’ve come to realize that my party may have left me behind.  There’s no intellectual base in the party, and now it looks as though the Tea Baggers might be ruling the day.  In short, God hates me.
 
That aside, if Donald Trump decides to run for el presidenté then I think I may officially abstain from the election.  I know, that sounds hasty, but I’m going to walk with me, if you will, on the road of my thought process called Fuck My Life Lan.

Right now, I think in terms of presidential candidates the Republicans are completely boned.  There’s that weird Pawlenty guy from where, Louisiana?  I think that NJ guy Christie is thinking about running as well.  Either way, they both look like they have a tit’s chance of getting groped in a gay bar of ever getting elected.  And then there’s Mitt Romney, a Mormon.  I don’t have anything against Mormons, I knew one once in the Navy, really nice guy, but how many people want to vote for a Mormon?

He's supposed to be the Republican party's
biggest hope.  Apparently God does have a
sense of humor.
I could be underestimating their chances as candidates, especially Romney.  He might actually have a shot.  But lets just pretend for a moment that they’re all screwed, and all we’re left with is Donald Trump.  *shiver*

I get it: he knows how to run a successful business and make an ass ton of money.  That’s what we need right now, right?  As a country we need to be making money rather than digging ourselves deeper into a hole.  But you have to ask yourself “how did he make his millions?”  I’m not 100% savvy on his portfolio, but I’m guessing that he’s a fairly shrewd businessman, and that he’s probably made his share of back-door deals (of the non-pornographic variety) in his time.

Is he totally corrupt?  I don’t know.  But I’ve always had this perception of him as not being entirely honest.  The second apprehension I have with him is the fact that he’s getting caught up in this birther thing.  I don’t know if it’s an act, or if he is genuine about his trepidation on our President’s natural-born citizen status, but either way it pisses me off.  If he’s serious, then he might be a dumbass, and if he’s faking it then it means he’s just trying to pander to morons.

He just watched the South Park Mormon episode.

Either way, that portends heartache for me.  If Trump runs and actually gets the nomination, then I would feel really, really dirty for voting for him.  However, my conscience would never allow me to vote for Obama, so I’d likely just abstain.

What the Republican party needs to do is regain some intellectual grounding.  I know that’s not likely to ever happen, seeing as how the average Tea Bagger has the intellectual capacity of a high school freshman, but a guy can wish right?  Right now, Republicans come off as uncaring, selfish, and power-hungry.  So we need an intellectual who comes off as benevolent.  I don’t know how smart Trump is, but he scares the shit out of me.

3 comments:

Joe Markowitz said...

If you look into the history of Trump's businesses, you will see that while he has made money on some projects, he has also run a few into the ground. So he has a mixed record, including both making fortunes, and losing fortunes for his investors. But don't worry, he is not a serious candidate. The prevailing wisdom is that he is just trying to boost the ratings for his latest tv show. But you're right that the Republicans don't seem to have any other viable candidates either.

Jack Camwell said...

Yeah, it's the lack of viable candidates that scares me.

I mean look at Schwarzenegger. Give me the name of ANY other Republican that could have possibly been elected Governor of California.

What's sad for me to say is that I'd probably vote for Trump over, say, Palin, Bauchmann, or Pawlenty. And that's why if he does get the nomination I'll likely just abstain.

He might just be doing this for ratings, but I'm a guy who believes that 80% of Americans are functionally retarded, so I can't help but be afraid when I see stuff like this.

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