Friday, May 6, 2011

If you're a relativist, prepare to get pwned. Hard.

Before I even start with the argument I’m about to present and the story that inspired it, I’m just going to put out a simple statement.  If you’re a relativist and you can understand the logical fallacy of the statement, then continuing to be a relativist would be retarded.  Ready?  Here goes: Truth is relative.  Think about that.

Anyway, while tooling around yahoo! news I came across a particularly horrifying story that comes out of Africa.  According to some Canadian human rights people, Tanzanians are all about killing albino children because they think they’re evil, and that their various fluids and body parts, in potion form, can grant the imbiber fortune in life.  Oh, and they happen to think that raping albino girls is a cure for AIDS.

Relativists . . . are you going to seriously tell me that they’re not completely morally wrong for this?  Of course you are, because you’re relativists and don’t even understand that relativism is a logically fallacious perspective.  I am so glad that this example popped up, because that means I don’t have to use the Nazis.

You know in your heart that this is morally wrong, but for some fucked up reason you’re afraid to say that they’re wrong.  Why?  Are you afraid of people perceiving you as being judgmental?  Guess what: everyone judges, even you.  So why keep your mouth shut about it?

Let me pose this question to relativists.  Do you believe in justice?  If so, then how can you say that the people raping albino girls should not be brought to justice?  Oh right, because their culture says it’s okay.  News flash: you’re retarded.  I get it; I get the fact that you’re trying to distinguish yourselves from the “evil, racist, bigoted,” Republicans.  You don’t want to look like you’re “culturally insensitive.”  Well if that’s the case then perhaps you’re not retarded—you’re just a fucking pansy.

She's evil apparently.

If you’re going to sit here and tell me that “truth is relative,” then that means that it’s totally okay for these guys to rape little albino girls.  It’s also totally alright that women allover the world are oppressed.  It’s also totally alright that gays are oppressed.  Genocide for racial purity is cool.  Killing someone because they’re not “Muslim enough,” or “too Christian,” is also fine as long as that culture says it is.

Wake the fuck up.  You know that shit isn’t cool, but you’re too full of your own bullshit to ever admit it publicly.  You want to look enlightened or whatever, and you want to be able to shit allover conservatives or people who believe that Truth is universal.  If Truth is relative to a culture (again, logical fallacy) then that means nothing is true.  That means that everything is permissible as long as a group of people say it is.

But you don’t agree with that.  Whenever I bring that up to a relativist, they usually stutter to explain how I’m incorrect on that one.  “Well no.  Murder is wrong, but I can’t impose that moral on someone else.”  Sure you can, asshat, because you don’t want to be murdered.  Because you know that if you murdered someone, you probably wouldn’t be able to live with yourself.  So are we supposed to tell African Americans that they can shut up about slavery?  Truth and morality are relative to a culture right?  So since Southern culture in ante-bellum America believed it was okay, then it was okay, right?

“Well Jack it wasn’t okay because we believe in Liberty.”  So Liberty is something exclusive to America?  Slavery is okay everywhere else as long as the culture doesn’t believe in Liberty?

I could go on forever with endless examples that logically prove relativism is retarded, but the best example is that little statement I left for you at the top.  “Truth is relative.”  In case you didn’t figure out how that’s logically retarded here’s the answer.  If you say that “truth is relative,” then you’ve basically just said something that is universally true, that all truth is relative.  See the paradox?  I know what you’re thinking.  “Well, that’s the only universal truth then.”  Wrong.  Because that statement is also a universal truth.  So now we went from truth being relative, to there being two universal truths: that truth is relative, and that’s the only universal truth.

If you're here and an albino . . . you might want to GTFO.
It actually means that there are an infinite number of universal truths, because you have to go on forever saying that “those are the only 2 universal truths; those are the only 3 universal truths,” and so on.

Man, for people who claim to have logic on their side, they sure don’t seem to mind when their beliefs are completely illogical.  Please, I want a relativist to call me a “judgmental asshole,” so I can poke holes in that statement as well.


Anonymous said...

This seems like you went off on a tangent.... what inspired this? Ken?


"this sentence is false"

explain that one!!!!


Silverfiddle said...

Good Stuff, Jack.

I have a little book by Michael Picard titled, "This is Not a Book." It is full of stuff like this.

You have nailed it. I use a similar argument against progressives who sneer at the mention of natural law.

If we do not enjoy fundamental property rights, including ownership of our own bodies, then how can stealing, rape, murder, punching someone in the face be called wrong?

I especially love it when they come back with "rights are determined collectively by people, not some God or natural rights."

I then say OK, so if we collectively decide to kill you and enslave you family that is ok then?

Jack Camwell said...

Yeah, whenever you bring up examples of times when a group of people commit horrifying things in the name of culutre, they clam up because there's no answer for their bullshit.

Oh, but when a group of people do horrfying things in the name of God? Oh that's just absolutely abhorrent.

Karen Howes said...

Fantastic, Jack, absolutely spot-on.

Relativism- "truth is whatever you happen to believe it is"-- is extremely destructive.

I'd like to link to this, if you don't mind.

Jack Camwell said...

Absolutely Karen. I'm flattered =)