Monday, June 25, 2012

Dumbass Idea of the Week: Pandora Romney Attacks

Once again, Dan Rather is not fucking
I listen to Pandora internet radio, and recently they have injected ads into their programming.  It was inevitable, I suppose.  Nothing can remain uncommercialized these days.

The ads weren't so bad until I started hearing Romney attack ads ad nauseum.  What was absurd though was the content of these ads.  I'll just share a couple of them with you.

In the first ad, the voiceover girl says "While Mitt Romney was governor, Massachussets fell to 41st in job creation in the country."  Only a moron would fall for that horse shit, and here's why.  You know what Massachussets' unemployment rate was for 2011?  6%.  SIX PERCENT.  And for anyone who has any basic understanding of economics, what is the magic number for what we consider full employment?  5%

So sure, Massachussets wasn't creating any jobs, but it also had the 11th lowest unemployment rate in the country.  I guess we'll have to see if their unemployment rate rises, but my guess is that they're doing fairly well.  Sorry to break it to these idiots, but you can't grow a whole lot if there's little room to grow in the first place.

The second ad is even more laughable.  "While governor, Mitt Romney rakced up over $2.1 billion in debt."  Wow.  How much debt has Obama racked up as president?

The best part about these ads is that they always end with the same phrase: "Romney economics didn't work then, and they won't work now."  Wow, I didn't realize that racking up debt was strictly Romney economics.  And apparently he sucks for having a low unemployment rate.

I'm not going to vote for the guy, but these ridiculous attack ads just go to show how dumb they think the American people are.  Maybe they think only idiots listen to Pandora?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Core Values for a Human Being

The other day I wrote about the bus monitor and how awful those kids were for treating her in such a savage manner.  Jersey McJones suggested that we bloggers should all take a day to write about the Golden Rule, or just the core values to being a decent human being in general.  So let's make today core value day.

I always tell my kids this simple phrase: be good, do good.  What does it take to be good?  Well, in my mind it takes only two things to be good.  Thing one is integrity, and thing two is compassion.

With integrity comes a true sense of self and moral boundaries that you are not willing to cross.  Those of us with integrity have good moral character.  We cannot have integrity without compassion.  Compassion is that quality that makes us truly human.  To be moved by the suffering of another human being is one of the deepest feelings we human beings can experience.  As Virgil said in the Aeneid: Sunt rerum lacrimae, et mentem mortalia tangunt.  "There is a compassion for suffering, and it touches the human mind."

If you are not compassionate, then you are no good.  Those kids lack any semblance of compassion.  Sure, they're acting repentant now, but it's because they're feeling shame and guilt, not compassion.  They don't feel bad for degrading that woman.  If no one ever found out about it, and if they weren't receiving threats from the righteously outraged people of America, those kids would go about their lives feeling as though they did nothing wrong.

Psychopaths are physically incapable of feeling compassion.  Their brains simply do not register feelings of remorse, guilt, love, or compassion.  Compassion is a learned thing, however, and if our kids aren't taught to be compassionate, then they likely won't be.

It's not enough to be good, because who cares if we're all just privately good people?  We have to do good.  We have to work to better the lives of others.  We have to treat people with dignity and respect, because we know deep down that every human being deserves that treatment.  How do we know this?  Because we don't enjoy it when we're being treated poorly.

We're losing this notion in America today.  American society is becoming more about doing whatever makes you feel good rather than actually considering the wellbeing of others.  It's a draw back to our rugged individualism.  Yes, individualism is great because it gives us the tools we need to be free-thinking humans, but taken to its extreme it isolates us from one another. 

Kids today are being taught that morality is subjective.  They're being led to believe that the timeless values that have served mankind for thousands of years are "antiquated" and have no bearing on people today.  Words like justice, prudence, courage and fortitude are not being taught in schools today.

Kids need to be taught that life is not all about fulfilling all of your needs and instincts.  We have to teach our kids that a good life is one spent in kindness and service to others.

Be good, do good.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Calling All Bloggers: The Golden Rule

Jersey McJones had a splendid idea in response to my article about "Making the Bus Monitor Cry."  Jersey suggested that we bloggers band together and post our feelings on the Golden Rule and how we as a society are losing that ideal.

So in an act of solidarity, I ask that we all blog about some aspect on the Golden Rule.  I think it would be neat if we all did it on Sunday.  I'll have a fresh article about it.

America's Little Sociopaths . . . Again

I wrote an article a while ago talking about how many kids today are sociopathic little shit heads.  This youtube video supports my theory.

I'm an emotionall tough guy.  It takes a lot to bother me, but true confession: I couldn't watch all of this.  I was so appalled, disgusted and left indignant by the behavior of these kids that I couldn't watch it to the end.

I would say that it's almost hard to believe it's real, but that's the state of our kids today in America.  They're shit heads, and it's largely because their parents are shit heads.  My son knows that if he ever behaved in such a disgraceful manner that he'd catch a swift beating.  My kid might be a smart ass at times (which is a direct reflection on my own smart assery), but he's not a monster, not like these little bastards.

"Well they're just kids, Jack!  They don't know any better."  Just because they're kids doesn't mean they are free to act with impunity.  I think it's a sad state of parenting in America when we see things like this happening.

I can't even pretend to know what these kdis' homelives are like.  Perhaps they're never spanked or given real punishment for their actions.  That's the only thing I can think of.  Perhaps it's something deeper: maybe kids these days just aren't being taught the core values of what it means to be a decent human being.

So what should be their punishment?  Outting them.  "Jack, you can't do that, they're just kids!"  Well, unless you'd like them to continue being raging shit heads, then the best thing to do would be to subject them to the same humiliation that they brought upon this woman.  The thing is that they're kids, and developmentally they are nearly incapable of empathy.  So, since they can't empathize with another human being, they have to experience the humiliation for themselves.

I think outting them, i.e. listing the shit heads by name, would work because we all know how kids are with peer pressure.  Now imagine all of American society is calling them out by name and telling them how shitty they are.  Public humiliation is always a great way to get the attention of dumbass kids like them.

Parents: keep your kids under wraps so they don't grow up to be sociopaths.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Dumbass Idea of the Week: "So a dude walks into a deli . . ."

So a guy walks into a deli, orders a specific sandwich, and he becomes concerned that they aren't making his sandwich correctly.

So the only logical recourse is to call the cops.  Right?  Well, that's what this jackass does.  He calls 911 to try and get a cop out to the deli to settle a dispute over the way his sandwich was being prepared.  From the article, here's the 911 conversation:
"Um, hi. My name is Rother McLennon and I'm at Grateful Deli," the man says on the 911 recording.

"I specifically asked for um little um, turkey, and little um ham and a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise…and they are giving me a hard time so I was wondering if you could stop by and just…"

That's when the dispatcher responds in disbelief, asking, "You're calling 911 because you don't like the way they're making your sandwich?"

"Exactly," McLennon answers.
CBSNewYork reports that the dispatcher calmly advises the caller to not buy the sandwich and to leave the store.

"He's telling me he won't make it for me again, just because of that," McLennon pleads. "So, I just want to solve this the right way, you know?"

"They playing games with me," he continues. "So, I'm just wondering if you could come by?"

After what sounds like a scoff and a very long pause, the dispatcher says, "Just stay there, or stay outside, I'll send somebody. In the future, just don't buy the sandwich, ok?"
Grats bro.  You're a moron.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Jack's Top 10 Shitheads in Human Society (3 - 1)

Yeah, this is not a problem at all.
#3.  Multi-culturalism-phobes

We get it: America is the greatest cutlure that ever was or ever will be.  Not only that, but American cutlure is devoid of any negativities whatsoever.  We Americans are just great people.  Nevermind the fact that we are insanely indulgent, we absolutely love violence, and we are so ridiculous that we can't help but be polarized on everything ever.

But that isn't fair, because other cultures have a massive superiority complex as well.  News flash: all cultures have their ups and downs.  "But Jack, Arab culture is brutal!"  Yes, Arab culture is brutal, but it's also a lot more focused on the good of all over the benefit of a few.

Muslim culture is very much about taking care of your neighbors.  Did you know that if you randomly find money, you must turn it in to your local mosque where it will remain for a few days to give the community enough time for someone to claim it.  If no one claims it, then the money goes to the community.

And before I get a bunch of people saying "Muslims behead and stone each other," lets remember some of the awful things that have happened in American culture.  Remember that gay guy in Texas who was tied to the back of a truck and dragged down a road?  Remember the abortion clinic bombings?  Lets also not forget that not very long ago we still executed people via electricity.  Yeah, that's super-humane.

Multi-culturalism is about accepting the fact that people live differently.  That doesn't mean that we have to accept the inhumane elements of other cutlures, but it means we have to accept that other peoples have different ways of doing things.  If you think multi-culturalism means anything other than what I've said, then you've been listening to idiots.

Don't listen to idiots.

#2.  Race-baters

Oh.  My. God.  I swear, if one more issue is made into a racial thing my head is going to explode.  Here's the hard truth: race baters don't actually give a shit about racial equality or whatever.  They don't care about equal rights, and they sure as shit don't care about anything that even closely resembles justice.

All they care about is getting their share and getting their time in the spot light.  Their political agenda is so deep and so obvious that it almost boggles the mind that people are fooled by it.  But really, they're just using sensationalist tactics to scare people into buying in to their bullshit.

Here's a kicker for you.  A white guy kills a black guy and what do we get?  We get the national media covering the story and everyone screaming "RACISM!"  What happens when a black guy kills a white guy?  Oh, well that happens.  Because black people definitely can't be racist, right?

I'm sorry, but George Zimmerman is probably not a racist.  He might be a moron, but he's no racist.  Seriously, stop making everything about race.  The best part about that is that Zimmerman is some kind of latino.  So I guess it's only racism if it's anyone-on-black violence.  Go figure.

. . . are a bunch of morons.  The Founding Fathers knew this.
#1.  The People

Silver mentioned that I should be angrier with the morons who voted for Obama than I should be with Obama himself.  Well, he's right, and truthfully I had planned to make the People #1 even before he mentioned that.

What's wrong with the people?  Well, they've lost all sense of objectivity.  We're living in an age where feelings are what's supposed to guide our decisions and what not.  Well, following your feelings all the time usually means you're being a huge dumbass.  How often are your feelings even right?

Most of you don't vote because of what you think, you vote because of what you feel.  You just can't bear the thought of a woman having an abortion, so you seek to ban it altogether.  Others feel so deeply that Americans should be made to live healthier lives that you try to limit how big sodas can be in New York.

None of you have any sense of objectivity left, which means your opinions are largely shit.  That doesn't mean that your opinions are necessarily wrong, it just means that you've given up on listening.  When you give up on listening it means that you're bound to be wrong on some things forever.  Why are so many of you so intent on being wrong?

How does that line go in the Buffalo Springfield song?  "Nobody's right if everybody's wrong."  Many of you reading this will just dismiss this.  You've got "facts" on your side, right?  You've got truth, and logic and bla bla bla bla.

I've never met so many damn perfect people before in my life.  It's no wonder I always feel so inferior to everyone, because I'm always wrong and everyone else is always right.  Fucking get over yourselves.  You're only "right" because it's easier to believe you're right.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Jack's Top 10 Shitheads in Human Society (6 - 4)

Chris Metzen: Anyone who knows me knows I hate this guy.
He's a tool, and he makes video games.  He's the reason why
Blizzard sucks ass now.  Fuck him.
#6.  Video Game Developers (Other than Bethesda)

I think I've mentioned before that Electronic Arts makes me want to cry, but it's not just them.  Game developers today have largely boned video games, and it's precisely because they're catering to a younger audience (younger than I).

"But Jack, just a few weeks ago you said that your generation would change the world.  Now you think your generation sucks?"  No!  I think my generation will change the world, but the people that are in their teenage years right now have no taste in video games.

Game developers have strayed away from games being an art form, and they've done so because they discovered that artists don't make a whole lot of money.  In essence, they sold out.  How so?  Well, when video games first started being a real thing--we'll say at the dawn of the Nintendo Entertainment System--they were basically pioneering the modern game industry.  There was no real product that Super Mario Brothers compared to, and that's how games were for a long time.

So basically, like artists, game developers had to make games that they thought would be a great experience.  We were given these games and forced to appreciate them (or not) exactly for what the games were.  Good artists don't make art to cater to what they think people will like.  They just make art.  At some point, game developers made games for the sake of making games.  They were looking to make fun, innovative experiences.

That's not the case anymore.  Games, today, are catered to key moneymaking demographics.  So games today are made under the mindset of "accessibility."  "Accessibility," is code for "make the game easier."  So they sold out, and games today are mostly hollow shells of what they once were.  And why are these guys worse than Terry Jones?  Well, it's because they are a party to the destruction of creativity.  Creativity, in my mind, is the last bastion of true freedom for humanity.

No . . . no we cannot.
#5.  Barak Obama

I just won't win this one, because some of you will hate me for not having him high enough on my list, and others will hate me for having him on my list at all.  Well, both groups of people can just deal with it.

Now, I'm a fair person.  I did not vote for him, but I didn't harbor any ill-will or feelings of impending amrageddon.  I'll be the first person to say that America has survived far worse presidents.  Having said that, Obama is not a great president, and it's not necessarily because of which side of the aisle he sits on.

Obama represents "more of the same."  Yeah, that will probably sound silly to many of you who think that a lot of his policies are radically different than anything that's ever been done before, but that's simply because you're not looking at it objectively.  Obama honestly has had no business being the president.  I hate to bring up the whole "experience" argument, but c'mon.  The guy was a senator for a few years and that somehow made him a great choice for a president?

Be honest with yourselves: Obama was elected because he is a young, charismatic black man who promised "hope and change."  That's not racist, it's just the truth.  One of my black friends actually admitted to me: "yes, I voted for him simply because he's black and I wanted to see a black president.  I regret voting for him."

He promised hope and change.  He tried to make himself out to be something different, something new.  In the end, it turns out he's no different than any other politician.  And what's worse is that he convinced many of you that he was different.  Right, because his senate voting record definitely showed him to be a maverick who was willing to break with his party.  Please . . .

And yes, this is a very cursory criticism of his presidency and what it represents, but honestly I could write an entire article about it; maybe someday in the future.  For now you're just going to have to accept this quick look at why he sucks.

It's a snow machine.  See what I did there?
#4.  News Media

CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, they'are all incredibly terrible.  They're terrible because they make no effort to be even close to objective.  Fox News is almost even more terrible because it's whole purpose is to "balance," out the news.

Yes, there is a major liberal bent to CNN and MSNBC, but it's ridiculous to think that balance somehow means that there are an equal number of radically subjective morons on both sides.  None of these newsmedia asshats even care about objectivity anymore.  They're making the news more about ratings than they are actually presenting facts and truth.

"But Jack, networks like MSNBC just presents the facts.  It's all objective, and it's all true!"  Right, Keith Olbermann is the king of objectivity.  And Fox News is no better with the likes of Bill O'Reilly.

What's most egregious about these newsmedia outlets is how positively snowed they've got people.  I can't help but cringe when someone cites Fox News or CNN as gospel.  I consider myself to be a conservative, and I can't watch more than 5 nanoseconds of Fox News without vomitting.  I probably hate Fox News more because they're so unabashedly grand-standish.  It's like everything Obama does is a mortal sin.  "ZOMG OBAMA WENT GOLFING THIS WEEKEND!!!  NO PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE PRESIDENCY HAS EVER TAKEN A VACATION!!!"  Fucking get over it.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Jack's Top 10 Shitheads in Human Society (10 - 7)

I'm feeling angsty today.  So let's rant about human shitheads, both individuals and groups.

Apparently, $1 million is just not enough for Kraft Macaroni
and cheese . . .
#10.  Welfare Bums

Yes, I got the inspiration for that from Silver's post yesterday on Western Hero.  Silver wrote about that woman who won the lottery, at least a million dollars, and continued to receive food stamps.  That would have been crazy if that were the only instance of that happening.  A while back, a Michigan lottery winner continued to stay on food stamps for 11 months after winning $2 million.  I'm sorry to break it to you, Liberals, but welfare bums do, in fact, exist.

"But Jack, Bill Clinton made sure that welfare bums can't be on welfare for life!"  Well, hypothetical nay-sayer, Clinton tried but failed.  I've met the welfare lifers.  Hell, there are some shitbags on my dad's side of my family that are welfare lifers.  Some women have babies because they know the government will give them more money for it.  Think it doesn't happen?  Well, then you just don't get out as much as you should.

Yep, you've been snowed.
#9.  The 1%

Uh oh, I'm going to get some Red gorrilla dung flung at me, I'm sure.  Just to be clear, I don't consider every single rich person or corporation to be part of this "1%."  Being rich doesn't make a person evil or immoral.  The term "1%" I think can legitimately be used to describe those few rich assholes that really have boned the country and the economy.  Sorry, but you can't tell me that the hedge-fund idiots, and the shitheads in our financial institutions didn't contribute to all the problems we're having.

And why did they screw us?  To make more money of course.  JP Morgan Chase is being investigated for bad trading (presumably by trading for their own profit, against the interests of their customers).  Let's not even mention the guys at AIG.  Weren't they the ones that paid their excecutives bonuses with your tax money?  There are people in this world who profit off of your misfortune, if it can even be categorized as misfortune.  The "misfortune" that many have suffered was purposely manufactured by these low-lifes who increase their personal wealth by engineering your financial shortfalls.  Does that sound like the behavior of an exemplary human being to you?

Yep, he's been snowed.
#8.  The 99%

"Well that's incredibly contradictory, Jack!"  No it's not.  The 99% are the dumbasses that went to the Occupy protests and chronicled their experience on Twitter or Facebook via their iPhones.  Their hearts were in the right place, but unfortunately their brains were not.  They protested "big business" and "evil corporations" while using the very goods that the Robber Barons provided them.  They were angry that big businesses hurt small businesses . . . all the while ruining some small business owners because their protest prevented customers from frequenting their establishments.  Morons.

And don't think you get off the hook just because you decried the "99%."  The 99% includes the fools that have been snowed by the rich people who boned you.  "This is class warfare!!!"  Right, says the guy that has basically bought-and-paid-for congressmen in his pocket (sorry, but lobbying is not a squeaky-clean beacon of moral uprightness).  They got you to believe that it's okay for them to screw you over for their benefit, and you took it hook-line-and-sinker all because of what, taxes?  Some silly notion that Bill Gates will stop investing because his marginal tax rate increases by 15%? 

They got you to throw your Christian morality completely out of the window.  Yep, you're definitely going to hell if you are sexually attracted to the same sex, but you're totally justified in being a multi-billionaire who allows people to starve.  That's totally what Jesus would do.  If Jesus were rich, and he saw a thousand people begging him for food, he'd tell them that they are shithead welfare bums who need to go out and get a job, because it's his money and he doesn't owe any of them one red cent.

Corporations and rich people are not inherently evil.  Deriding the rich for allowing the poor to suffer is not about "class warfare," or socialism.  It's about justice.

I never forget the face of a douchebag.
#7.  Pastor Terry Jones

What a douche.  What's the best way to prove to the world that you're better than your enemy?  Well, be just as shitty as your enemy of course!

Terry Jones is so ridiculous on so many levels that it's mind boggling.  First, he's obviously a hypocrite because I'm fairly sure that he would not appreciate a Muslim burning a bible.  Secondly, he's a complete moron because his actions only create more hatred.  The idiot basically confirms all of the misconceptions that hold Christians as being evil infidels.

And really, what's the point?  Does he think he's being a soldier for Christ or something?  If so, then that would be endlessly ironic, because Jesus was a pacifist.  He can't think that it would actually convert Muslims, because who would want to be a part of a religion in which people have no respect for the beliefs of others?  I guess every religion has it's morons and nutjobs.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Guest Post: The God Bullshit

From The Anonymous Howard Beale:

Being an agnostic, I find myself arguing between mystical and scientific explanations. I was never exposed to religion much until I was thrown into the catholic school system in the 8th grade. It was there amongst the theology studies and the constant worship of Jesus that I came to be a skeptic. It seems all you have to do is read the bible and you get the idea in your head that it may be bullshit.

From a sheer mystical point of view, you have to take it on face value and faith that the Creator did all this, in some way or another. Regardless, you would have to be an absolute fool to pretend you could extrapolate meaning or pretense out of a being that is so far beyond our perception. We truly do not have words to express how a supreme consciousness would perceive us. Whenever people invoke religion and say "I felt the presence of God", you are in effect diminishing God, bringing him/her/it down to our level.

Prayer has always confused me, and has always been a source of frustration for people when I have discussed it with them. Again, to put things in perspective, you praying to God would be like an amoeba praying to Robert DeNiro. Do you really think Bobby DeNiro has the time or the inclination to listen to the pleas of an amoeba? Bobby has movies to film and people to see. God has people to make and cosmic landscapes to produce. Have you checked your amoeba messages recently? Do they want you to drop some sugar on the 3rd step down to your basement?

To sum up the supernatural, people pray because they are told to by other people. People worship because they are told to by other people. People read the bible that was made by other people. To go around spreading "truth" is no different and going around spreading lies in the big picture. If you are Christian you already don't believe in 1,000 other Gods, what is one more?

Scientifically we hit the wall hard. Logic dictates to us that the cosmos and earth itself can be a downright inhospitable place. Radiation, acid rain, natural disasters, diseases, solar flares, man-made disasters, etc. Venus has an environment that is in all likelihood worse than any hell you can imagine. You look at the world of hard science and experimentation and you say "Not Possible" in terms of explaining our existence. Here we are though, despite all the dangers to life that exist.

It is a symphony of sorts, we are at the right distance from the sun, we have a strong magnetic field shielding our planet from most damaging radiation, we have an atmosphere that is just right. We are the Goldilocks of the solar system. Every Terran born into this world be it human or otherwise does so at the product of 4 billion years of planetary evolution. A lot of people take it for granted that the Earth is our ship. Without it where would we be.

Science is constantly evolving, and although we base our science on facts we can prove in our perception of reality, that does not mean that reality and our perspectives line up completely. Take for instance aerodynamic flight, while we know that scientific contributions from Bernoulli has great significance to our working knowledge of it, there is still much we don't know. Next time you are in a plane just realize that no one knows 100% for sure why that big metal thing goes up in the sky. We know enough about it to use it, and that's as good as we can hope for at the moment.

I don't pretend to have the answers, I just lay it out as I see it. If you are a religious person, please understand this is not meant to belittle your beliefs, it is meant to stimulate you into seeking answers. If you are a hardcore Atheist I am not belittling you either by saying "We don't know for sure", because as a logical person you have to understand at least the basis of my hesitation. We won the galactic lottery, this much is for certain.

Every person has the option to give of themselves yet so few do so with the best intentions. Whenever you get stressed out at something or someone, take a moment and think about the billions upon billions of people that have come before you, and those that will come after you, smile and know that somewhere, someday, we may finally understand "Why."