The Top 5 Worst Things of 2012
5. The End of the Twilight Saga: Anyone who says that the Twilight Saga is "good cinema," is a teenage girl and/or a moron. I have mixed feelings about this one because on one hand it's absolutely wonderful that this stain on artistic quality is finally over, but it's terrible because there had to be another movie in order for it to end. I've long smashed the Twilight movie series for two reasons. One: it's the worst writing coupled with the worst actors in recent memory. Two: it was wildly successful at the box office. It's a sad commentary on American society that such a horrific spectacle--a complete artistic failure on every level--did so well at the box office.
4. NYC Nazis: This one blows my mind because of how many people were actually supportive of it. New York City Mayor Bloomberg championed the cause not of a curb in violence or better education for city kids . . . but of making sure that New Yorkers couldn't have too much soda when they go out to eat. This is an affront to personal liberty on so many levels it makes my head hurt. First of all, how the hell can the government tell a private business how big their serving cups can be? Secondly, this just goes to prove that many government officials are tyrranical asshats that believe they have the power to make your decisions for you. As if that wasn't enough, Bloomberg also thinks that new moms in NYC should be forced to breast feed because, you know, that's totally his business.
3. The Aurora, CO Shooting: Aside from the fact that it made me a little nervous to take my son with me to see The Dark Knight Rises on opening night, this was a complete nightmare for all involved, and for American society as a whole. James Holmes killed 12ish people I think, one of whom was a child around 8 years old. Of course, this raised the perennial question of "how could this have been prevented," and anyone with a brain answered "it can't." James Holmes was a neuroscience PhD student with no history of mental illness, aggression, or violence. For whatever reason, he snapped. And of course, society snapped along with him. Because of this, a movie-theater shoot-out scene was removed from the movie Gangbusters, because apparently it's too insensitve. I'll leave you to ponder just how deeply idiotic and hypocritical that sounds coming from Hollywood.
|What's funny is that Democrats think they|
are the "winners."
1. Sandyhook Elementary: For me, this is easily the worst thing that happened this year. An entire first-grade class was mercilessly slaughtered by psychopath Adam Lanza, who of course took his own life before he could be apprehended. This event really crippled the soul of America. Not only did it make a lot of parents feel uneasy about how safe their small children can be in such a horrifying world, but it re-ignited the gun control debate with a fiery ferocity. This shooting is making the nation as crazy as Lanza. To suggest that a complete psychopath is indicative of a larger societal problem is pretty ridiculous. "Society is sick," so many people said. No: the 1% of American population suffering from violent mental illness is sick. I'm not sick. Chances are that my readers are not sick. But, in typical American fashion, since justice cannot be done upon Adam Lanza, we have to find an effigy to burn, a scapegoat to slaughter. Gun ownership will take the fall for the crazies, the morons, and the criminals that make up a sliver of American society.
The Top 5 Best Things of 2012
|My Great Library and Museum|
4. The Hobbit: It's received mixed reviews from critics, but that's because they're morons. A big complaint is that it "lacks the seriousness of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy." Well, that's a "no shit Sherlock," moment right there, because the story of The Hobbit is not about the end times. It's about a guy who is in way over his head, and he finds the courage to make the best of it. It's also telling that most critics said that the first hour of the movie is "slow" and would be hard for children to sit through (facepalm if you get the irony of that). I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and I'm glad that the world of film criticism has been exposed for what it really is. Those idiots are not concerned with judging a film for what it is, but rather they judge it on what they want it to be.
3. The Avengers: What an achievement. Marvel Studios made it happen: they had four iconic comic book characters have their time in the sun with their own individual full-length feature films, and then brought them all together--big-name actors and all--for one epic film. The movie is a lot of fun with thrilling action and amazing chemistry between the characters. The best part is that Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man will have more sequels and there will be another Avengers film. To those who scoff at this sort of thing, I cordially invite you to pull the stick out of your ass and allow yourself to have a bit of fun. Super Hero worship isn't just for Philistines, and a "good movie" doesn't have to be about the boring, hum-drum every day of "real people." Hipsters are terrible.
2. The Dark Knight Rises: I'm sure by now you're noticing a theme. 2012 has been a great year for entertainment. It's about the only thing good about 2012. This brings me to the movie that I thought was superior to The Avengers, the final chapter in Christopher Nolan's Batman series. The acting was superb--even Tom Hardy's Bane. A lot of people said that he was forgettable because we could only see his eyes through the movie, but his eyes told a rich story. The film was huge, every actor fit perfectly into their role (especially Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle aka Catwoman) and the film ended the series on a grand note. Can there be revolution in our time, or are the only revolutionaries that exist anymore just terrorists? Despite Bane's brutality and violence against humanity, he was right about the corruption and the sickness of society. In his final installment, Noaln continued to encapsulate the angst and the moral ambiguity swirling in the minds of Americans. Also, it was a lot of fun!
1. Anne Hathaway: She was amazing as Catwoman--stole the show, in my opinion--but she was even more amazing as Fantine in the screen adaptation of the Broadway production of Les Miserables. I will admit it to the world: I shed a man-tear at her rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream." It was visceral, it was real, and it was gut wrenching. Why is this the best thing of 2012? Because Anne Hathaway proved that amongst the dung-heap of Hollywood and the deteriorating collective creative and artistic mind of American society, there can still be a performance truly worthy of the adjective "beautiful." While we're told to believe that movies like Avatar and the whole Twilight saga are somehow "great films," we still have actors who are willing to give their heart and soul to show us what real talent and a magnificent performance really are. Pitting Anne Hathaway and Kristin Stewart against each other would be like taking a watermelon to a Gallagher routine. Thank you, Anne Hathaway, for proving that the world is not totally hopeless.
So there you have it. Please feel free to give me your own top 5 best and worst stuff of 2012 in the comments. Happy "One Year Closer to Dying"! Let's hope 2013 is not as bleak as 2012.